5 Tips for Increasing Longevity in Romantic Relationships

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From what you eat to how you move and the way you prioritize sleep, myriad lifestyle factors play into your longevity. One such factor that’s often overlooked actually has nothing to do with your own habits, but rather those of your partner. That’s right, longevity plays into romantic relationships, too.

A recent study published in the journal Atherosclerosis of more than 30,000 heterosexual married couples (admittedly a limitation of the study) in Japan and the Netherlands found a link between lifestyle habits of married couples, including smoking and drinking, and physical traits of those couples, including weight, abdominal circumference, and body mass. Though the study stipulates that the relationship between lifestyle and longevity is not necessarily causal, the correlation itself is noteworthy.

The takeaway here is that the married couples tended to partake in similar lifestyles choices, and then experienced similar health-compromising effects. Considering that couples who cohabitate share much of their leisure time, meals, and even exercise habits—all indicators of lifestyle habits—they also ultimately share their health and longevity, says one of the study’s authors, Naoki Nakaya, PhD.

“It is an important finding of this study that the influence of environmental factors is strong because the genetic backgrounds of couples are low.” —Naoki Nakaya, PhD

“It is an important finding of this study that the influence of environmental factors is strong because the genetic backgrounds of couples are low,” Dr. Nakaya says, referencing the study’s note that many of the correlations were among married participants with low genetic similarity. With this in mind, setting up better lifestyle habits with your partner can ostensibly have a positive effect on both partners’ well-being and longevity.

Regarding that low genetic similarity, Kien Vuu, MD, a physician focused on longevity and regenerative medicine and author of Thrive State: Your Blueprint for Optimal Health, Longevity, and Peak Performance, says genetics accounts for only a portion of health, with lifestyle habits accounting for the rest. With this in mind, building healthy habits with your romantic partner in order to support the longevity of each individual in the relationship is key.

Read on for five ways to boost your own and your partner’s longevity together, according to medical experts and a relationship therapist.

5 ways to boost longevity in romantic relationships

1. Consider prevention, first and foremost.

There are certain things we can do to prevent negative spousal concordance, aka the behaviors and associated health statuses within couples, says Dr. Nakaya. “Cooperation between [married couples] can contribute to disease prevention and longevity,” he says.

Smoking, drinking, and exercise are all tied, one way or the other, to the onset of cardiometabolic diseases, he adds—which is not great news for longevity in romantic relationships or any relationship. In order for that prevention to be successful, “it is necessary to improve the above lifestyle habits and change behavior, which greatly contribute to the onset [of cardiometabolic diseases],” Dr. Nakaya says. This might look like not smoking anymore (or maybe smoking less), not drinking as much, and incorporating exercise as a regular part of your routine as a couple.

2. Go on walks together.

An easy way to incorporate exercise into your daily routine as a couple is to go on walks together, whether it’s to start the day or to end it, says relationship therapist Chautè Thompson, LMHC.

Considering that going on walks is linked to increased heart health and that a daily walk can increase digestion, this is a low-impact exercise that definitely stands to increase longevity in a romantic relationship.

3. Have more sex.

Sex is also tied to longevity, as evidenced by the fact that one of the regular habits of the longest-living people on Earth is having sex. (Seriously, more than 80 percent of the world’s longest-living people are having sex between ages 65 and 100.)

4. Make sure you’re both getting enough sleep.

The longest-living people in the world also have a consistent sleep schedule and tend to get a full night’s sleep, pointing to the importance of sleep with respect to longevity.

“Make sure you get seven to nine hours of quality sleep, and try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every day,” says Dr. Vuu, adding that “a healthy circadian rhythm is important for hormone health and overall health.”

Dr. Vuu recommends working with your partner to try to get on the same sleeping schedule to improve your sleep health and, in turn, longevity as well.

5. Engage in friendly competition.

“It is important for couples to compete with each other and encourage each other to ensure behavior change,” says Dr. Nakaya. It is true that friendly competition may help make habits stick.

Thompson adds that these competitions can include “flirty and fun incentives,” for completing challenges like “drinking enough water, walking a certain amount of steps for the week, [and] limiting the amount of sweets they eat,” she adds. Here, Thompson says, the key is for the couple to think about their personal challenges and encourage each other to conquer them.

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Longevity of Relationships: Working For and With Your Partner